Lindsay lohan chỉ có nước chờ chết

It’s April 2020. A listless dread has stolen inlớn the homes of billions sheltering from a deadly pandemic. What better time for Lindsay Lohan, child star turned Hollywood wraith, to attempt another resurrection of her career. ‘My life is full of ripped up pages, I’ve sầu been weak, contagious, but I’m coming back, I’m coming bachồng khổng lồ me,’ she sings over the electro-pop backing traông chồng of Baông chồng to lớn Me, her first single for over a decade. Best known as a fallen teen movie queen, Lohan has run a side-hustle as a pop star since her 2004 debut album, Speak, her crepitate voice adding unexpected rawness to a largely mediocre discography. Sung by anyone else, Back khổng lồ Me would be one more cliched assertion of female self-love sầu, destined for the playlists of commercial radio before disappearing into lớn oblivion. Sung by Lohan – a woman symbolically and psychologically broken by the entertainment industry – the promised return to a lost self is the latest chapter of a ghost story worthy of Edgar Allan Poe.

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Now 33, Lohan first appeared as the precocious 11-year-old star of Disney’s 1998 film The Parent Trap, performing twice as identical twins Annie và Hallie. Separated at birth when their parents divorced, then thrown together by fate, the two Lohans pool their smarts to lớn reunite the family. If the plot sounds lượt thích an impossible fantasy of a child attempting to hold together a doomed marriage (if only there were two of me; if only I could persize twice the emotional labour), perhaps in some way it was. Her parents’ turbulent relationship inspired the pop-roông xã ballad Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter lớn Father) (2005). In the music đoạn Clip, a little girl despairs as her father abuses her mother; an audience gathers, but nobody intervenes.

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After starring in the hugely successful comedies Freaky Friday (2003) & Mean Girls (2004), Lohan repeated the twin triông xã for the 2007 slasher movie I Know Who Killed Me, playing teenagers Dakota and Aubrey. Only this time around, her doubling felt less lượt thích a celebration of a kid with enough charisma khổng lồ be two leading ladies & more symbolic of the self-alienation & psychic injuries typical of childhoods sacrificed to the box-office. When Aubrey is kidnapped and dismembered by a serial killer, her sister develops identical stigmatic wounds. ‘Maybe that’s why ghosts are restless. Because there’s nothing left of what they were except for the pain,’ Dakota says, musing over the discomfort in a phantom limb. The credits roll over the two Lohans lying in the dirt by an open grave, mutilated, barely alive sầu.

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Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club, 2019. Courtesy: MTV

I Know Who Killed Me was a commercial và critical bomb. By the time of its release, Lohan’s public persona had also begun khổng lồ transmogrify from Disney golden girl khổng lồ the protagonist of a gruesome but predictable Hollywood noir. She spent the next 8 years in & out of court và rehab, her turmoil repeatedly exploited by strangers và confidantes. Disgraced photographer Terry Richardson took a shoot of her holding a gun lớn her head; her father secretly recorded her desperate drunken phone calls và gave sầu them to lớn the press; paparazzi stalked her hoping lớn capture every oto crash & midnight meltdown. ‘Are you addicted to lớn chaos?’, a sanctimonious Oprah Winfrey asked in 2013, when Lohan submitted lớn the ritual humiliation of the US talk show circuit. ‘Yes,’ Lohan replied, visibly distressed. Ultimately, it would have sầu been a question better put khổng lồ the entertainment industry that Winfrey is a part of, too: one that produces vulnerable women then profits from their public debasement. 

When her probation ended in năm ngoái Lohan left the US và has since been based between paparazzi-không lấy phí Dubai và Greece. Her most recent on-screen appearance was in short-lived reality show Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club, which aired on MTV in 2019. The programme depicted her as a self-proclaimed ‘bitch boss’, presiding over a hellish VIP resort in Mykonos. Contestants flown in from the US to compete for jobs as ‘Lohan brand ambassadors’ were expected lớn fulfil every wish of her clientele, from escort services lớn childcare. Lohan is mesmeric in the role, lying on the beach in an electrocution suit (a quiông chồng way get abs), nhảy wild-eyed in a silver jumpsuit, treating the show as an opportunity lớn reenact the psychodramas of her past upon would-be employees. She turns up unannounced at their accommodation, shames them for their messy relationships và excessive alcohol consumption, & lashes out any woman she suspects of trying to steal her limelight. Lohan’s bizarre outbursts are as notable as her frequent absences – often it seems as if she is hiding from the cameras, leaving the supporting cast lớn fill the void. 

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Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club was cancelled after a single season. The resort is now shuttered. Like many child actors, from Judy Garlvà khổng lồ Macauley Caulkin, Lohan discovered that the reward for growing up early & publicly is finding yourself trapped in the ghoulish terrain between lost innocence and premature old age, unable khổng lồ settle inkhổng lồ adulthood. No doubt aware that her appeal has long since lain in the spectacle of a promising career imploding, Lohan has engaged in marketing the wreckage. Baông chồng to Me was announced in March with a video trailer on Instagram in which archival news footage of Lohan’s chequered past flashes up on a monitor; as if from an intolerable build-up of pressure, the screen shatters. During the song Lohan repeats the central refrain, ’I’m coming baông xã to lớn me,’ thirty times. By the end of the traông chồng it sounds less lượt thích an act of self-acceptance và more lượt thích a perpetual lingering over what is lost. Baông chồng to Me is the song of a woman who has established a morbid pact with her audience. She’ll keep haunting the ruins of her youth, & we’ll keep watching.

Main image: Lindsay Lohan, Bachồng lớn Me, 2020. Courtesy: the artist & Casablanca Records